A Questionable Perfection
by Lavender and Hay
Summary: Joseph helps Phyllis to deal with some of her insecurities.


**Written for a prompt on tumblr. **

It was nearly light when she got up. He was still asleep, and she did not wake him; gently drawing the blanket back up to cover his body. He shifted a little, spreading out a little into the space she'd left. He gave half a sigh and then settled again.

She stood up, stepping away from the bed. She was naked, that was a thing in itself. Apart from when she took a bath, she had not been naked in a very long time. It was a little bit cold, and she hurriedly opened the wardrobe door, looking for her clothes. There was a long, thin mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door. With the motion of the opening door, the grey morning light reflected in the top of the mirror, flashing and drawing her eyes towards it.

A second later, she made eye contact with her own reflection. She blinked in surprised, looking back at herself. The relaxation of her face surprised her.

She could not quite bring herself to believe what had happened last night. That he had worked up the nerve to ask to come to her, that he had slipped into her room, that he had kissed her, and held her, and made love to her. She had to admit too, she smiled quietly to herself, that she had been surprised by how good it had been. She knew that he'd never been with anyone before, he'd told her. Her smile widened a touch. He had been so…- loving. It was ridiculous to even be surprised by it by now, but somehow she still was. She'd known he loved her, he'd told her that too, several times. But, in the act itself, he'd been so loving it had taken her aback completely, it had flawed her. He'd looked at her, touched her, like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

This, Phyllis thought, as her eyes flickered over the reflection of her body in the mirror, was no mean feat on his part. She skimmed over the line of her right hip, where the evidence of an old bruise was still manifest. Its colouring was nauseatingly ugly to her. There were a few others but none as bad as that. There was a scar too on her upper arm, that caught the light at an irritatingly prominent angle if she turned a little. She bit back a quiet sigh. They were all remnants of little incidents in Holloway that she did not want to bring herself to remember, a careless shove here, an inmate who thought Phyllis's slight build made her an easy target there. She hated how she still carried those moments around with her, even hidden beneath her clothes, how they were still marked on her, how they had spoiled her for him…

"What are you doing?" came his quiet voice, up from the bed.

"Nothing," she told him quickly, opening the door more widely, reaching in to find her clothes.

She could hear him standing up. He was standing behind her close to her.

"You did wake me up," he told her, "I was watching you looking at yourself."

She stilled, putting the shoes she had just picked up back on the floor of the wardrobe. He reach forward from behind her, resting his hand on her arm.

"Phyllis," he murmured, "I love you. You're perfect."

She watched his face in the mirror, for as long as she could.

"No, I'm not," she replied. Her voice shook.

"Yes," he told her softly, "You are to me. You are the most beautiful woman alive, and I love you so much."

Leaning forwards just a fraction, he pushed her loose hair gently to one side, pressing a kiss to her bare neck.

She turned around, facing him.

"I just can't help but feel that you deserve someone who isn't-… spoiled, like this," she indicated towards her body.

He was looking at her closely. Reaching out to her, he wrapped his arms securely around her middle.

"I don't want anyone else," he told her, quietly, firmly, "And that's an end to it."

"Oh, Joseph, you're the one who's perfect," she told him, through eyes welling with tears, reaching out, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately.

"Thank you," she whispered, as they broke apart, "Thank you so much."

"There's no need to thank me," he told her quietly.

"I think there is," she told him softly, her eyes sparking a little, "Thank you for enduring Mr Carson's disapproving looks when you're late down to breakfast."

"But I'm n-… oh," realisation dawned upon him, "I see."

He willingly allowed her to draw his lips down towards hers and lead him back towards the bed.

**Please review if you have the time. **


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